ungratefulninja:

I’d like to think myself as a very observant person. I get a natural feel for things. People and situations. There was always the option, although limited to three, to show apathy, empathy, and enmity. For everything I come across I made it known to put my own personal stamp of how I felt about…

I waited until I got home to respond to this, but I still can’t help but say that this post spoke volumes. Vinz, I don’t imply for myself to be in the exact situation, nor do I claim that I understand exactly how you feel. However, I recognize the significance of “Image” and why I think it’s a double edged sword. 

To tie to the subject of judgement, we as humans do it on a daily basis. We make decisions based on our judgement and past experiences. Knowledge and education become an important factor in determining how these images/situations affect our thoughts. No, I’m not a psychologist, nor do I have any proper education in sociology, however I can’t help but analyze everything in my life… including my friends, and the relationships I have with my peers. 

Needless to say, I’m going to the pry away from the post I reblogged, and put in my two cents. 

Although life has handed me a ton of crap in the past, I am happy to say that life’s been good lately. No, I’m not in perfect bliss, nor do I claim to be “making bank,” but I’m happy. I’ve been laying low, keeping to myself. Aside from the few Facebook statuses, and check-ins, I don’t really choose to boast about my simple and new quiet lifestyle. But, if a friend were to catch up, I’ll give them honesty. 

Living an honest (but modest) life, does have it’s ups as well as it’s unexpected downs. The lighter side is knowing that even though working and growing up is hard work, you begin to appreciate the fruits of your labor that much more… 

 Where am I going? I swear.. there is a point to this.

 Looking back at how my life has panned out, it’s hard to believe that I’ve managed to create enemies. As you grow up, people grow apart. There are people in my life that I still care to catch up with.. but to my surprise, my happiness is nothing more than just a punchline in a joke they tell their peers. Frustrating is one emotion. 

Hurt was more like it. Friends I used to hang out with all the time stopped calling me. Jokes I used to think were hilarious, were not as funny anymore… I began to fade into the background. But why was I angry at my friends? … 

..It was I who changed.. I grew up.. I changed.  

In spite of all this.. I still make time for my friends. 

However.. 

Almost like two different sides of the mirror, my feelings are disregarded and are used against me in this “hypothetical competition” of who can “one-up” another. 

Ha, don’t pretend to care about my life, what I’ve done, let alone tell me you are “happy” for me. Just to turn your back, and use my happiness as fuel to your scheme to talk shit.

I guess misery loves it company.

QUICK! Everyone jump on this cynical bandwagon. Hurry! Before you miss it! 
 

a cousin’s wise words

Yes. You can promote your brand on facebook & posts funny statuses & perfect your skills at being a stalker. But today I realized the importance of facebook: the stored photos. the memories.

Call it cheesy, but I took an hour of my time (maybe more) going through my albums, photos, & doing the same with a few loved ones… and my heart stopped for a bit. 

A mixture of what was, what is, and what isn’t anymore. To see the picture and know the deep meaning behind it. I mean my God, I laughed as memories uplifted my soul, I teared up from the sight of people I missed, and I smiled reflectively, thinking - just. wow. I can’t describe this feeling. 


I don’t know, it was just nice to stop from the busyness of life for a bit and just appreciate the life you’ve shared with others. 

I can’t help but be reminded of a quote many of my friends say all the time; it just makes sense at this moment: 

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away."

These photos, these moments… just. wow.
anxiety

It’s that feeling you get at the pit of your stomach. Unlike butterflies, the feeling rises from the bottom of your spine and squeezes the sides of your skull. 

That feeling has been all too familiar for me lately. It’s always been a struggle to keep tied down, but sometimes I just feel like falling under the pressure.

"What’s wrong? You have to tell me what’s wrong."

I couldn’t even answer that question. Truthfully, nothing was wrong. Life was great. My job was demanding of me, but the long breaks in between homestands were plenty enough time to help me recover.. help me heal..

Anxiety washes me with uneasiness, a consistent fear of failure. It’s true, I worry. More than the average person. Maybe it’s because are care too much, or maybe I need to take a step back and let my body breathe. 

However, despite my battle with chronic anxiety, I’ve learned to be thankful for my blessings. They don’t come often, but I’ve managed to see the positivity in the smallest of things.

Mentally, it will always be a battle for me. But with great struggle comes an even better reward. And I need to remind myself what is truly important in life and keep going strong. 

"Think positive." 

Simple stated. Relevant though.  

oh… my… god… 

i just came. 

(Source: beyoncespenis)

Summer 2012 Bucket List (updated 7/22/12)
1) Sunset at the beach 
2) Santa Monica Pier 
3) GO to a Dodger Game (as a guest) 
4) Mini Weekend Road Trip (Somewhere other than Vegas)
5) CELEBRATE my birthday
6) LA, SD, OC Fair 
7) Go on a random tour 
8) Go to the ZOO
9) Long Beach Aquarium 
10) Ice Blocking 
11) Ice Skating 
12) Camping 
13) Make a summer themed craft at Color Me Mine
14) Spend a night in a city I’ve never stayed in
15) Try geocaching 
16) Have a picnic at the park 
17) Lose 15+ lbs 
18) Go on a rollercoaster  
19) Go to a Drive In Movie 
20) Minigolf 
21) Do a Flashmob
22) Go to a theme park  
23) Fly a kite
24) Complete a summer jigsaw puzzle 
25) Make Funnelcake
26) Go to a Museum 
27) Watch the Summer Olympics 
28) Eat somewhere with live music  
29) Kings win the Stanley Cup 
30) Karaoke my heart out  
31) Attempt all the recipes I’ve bookmarked 

Movie List

1) Dark Knight Rises
2) MIB 3 
3) Rock of Ages 
4) Brave 
5) The Amazing Spiderman 
6) The Notebook -____- 
7) Kung Fu Panda 

Eatery List

1) Shawarma 
2) Caramel Apples 
3) Golden Corral 
4) Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles 
5) Roys 
6) Stacked 
7) La Creperie 
8) Jogasaki Burrito 
9) The Stinking Rose
10) Sushi Cruise  

What it must feel like to have a little fun

Pre-life-crisis is taking effect, and I’m stuck wondering if my “fun” days are over. Staying out late takes a toll on my body. A couple drinks gives me front row seats to the worst hangover the next morning. And loud music, high heels, short skirts, and jewelry are all—-

nah, screw that. 

Pre-life-crisis aside, I do miss the nightlife. Hell, I’ll say it. I part of me really does wish that I could do the random vegas trip sometime soon. Summer has almost reached its half-way point. And as awesome as it is so far, I want to keep it going. 

I never really get the chance to celebrate my birthday right. Maybe it’s about time for me to do something fun for a change? Suggestions?  

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